Where’s my damned silver lining?

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Jun 29th, 2013
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Day 2


We woke up in Pennsylvania (by the way, all the cool people there only say PA, never the entire name of the state, just so you know), to a weather forecast of doom and gloom.  It seems a storm had followed us from the Midwest.





Doom and gloom, ya’ll.







Now here is where I have the opportunity to wax poetic about the glory of our great country and the beautiful splendor of Mother Nature, but the reality is that it’s hard to see any damned splendor with rain stinging the crap out of your face and a lovely sludge-y mist from the tires of the other drivers painting a fine coating of crud on your entire person.


We entered New York State under the clouds and mist you can see above, succumbing the inevitable reality that we would have to stop and put on rain suits.



We put these on at a roadside rest stop. High fashion, it ain’t. Also? Putting a rain suit on over damp clothes is an exercise in me rolling around on the sidewalk with my boot caught halfway down my rain suit pant leg and my jacket rolled up around my neck trying to choke me to death.  It leaves me panting, cursing and probably with my bra tugged up above one boob, and my boot removed and flung across the parking lot.  I am a wonder for all the rest stop patrons to behold.





Did ya’ll know that New York is one big ass state?  My mid-western upbringing caused faulty perception I guess.  Other than New York City and a state capitol that no one ever got right in the sixth grade, I honestly didn’t think that there was SO MUCH of New York.  Traveling from the southwest corner to the Vermont state line took forever.  I wish I had pictures of how much forever this took, but due to the rain, my camera (currently known as MY PRECIOUS) was tucked safely away, dry and happy.  I, on the other hand, was not.  My only shelter from the elements was a rain suit, which I soon discovered had migrated north to approximately my knees, my trusty helmet, and huddling behind The Man.  (See that teeny, tiny windshield up there on the bike?  The Man chose to replace the larger one that came on the bike with that one which he thought looked better.  And by better I mean, cooler.  Who’s wet now, Mister?)



Side story:  All this rain caused great concern for our GPS device.  How was I going to find the nearest Starbucks and/or Dunkin Donuts if it became water-logged and non-working?  While we were stopped at a gas station to fill up, I suggested buying a condom and putting over the Starbucks-finder.  This seemed fitting given my “Fuck you Weather, don’t you know I’m on vacation?” attitude.  Instead, The Man opted to ask the kind lady at the station (which also housed a Subway/Uncle Chesters Chicken/Pizza/Roller Hot Dog area) for a piece of Saran Wrap.  He then wrapped the coffee-locating-device tightly and all was well in the world again.  Coffee for everyone!



Day Two had us stopping more often than we liked because of the weather.  At some point a torrential downpour wins, and you just have to pull in somewhere and ride it out.


We made it to Albany, NY that night (almost Vermont!) and the hotel staff was kind enough to give us an entire industrial roll of paper towels to stuff in our boots to absorb all the rain that I had been soaking up for the past 12 hours.  In reality, they were probably just tired of hearing me squish up and down the hallway, leaving puddles everywhere I stepped.

Daily Miles: Approximately 420

Total Miles from Home: Approximately 925 (longer than usual but we stayed away from toll-roads)

Condition of my Ass on a scale of 1 to 10:  10 (I say this with a smile because this new bike is way more comfortable than the one we left at home.)

Condition of my New Cute Harley Boots: Wet.



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