Seven things about me that you never wanted to know

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Aug 30th, 2010
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I read alot of blogs. Big blogs, small blogs, humorous and informative. With all this reading, I’ve run into a fair amount of lists. And since it’s been a very (*ahem) long time since I’ve written anything, I thought I would try one of these new-fangled listy things all the kids are raving about.

So here are seven (unless I run out of things that are interesting or someone flashes a shiny object in front of me)things about me that you probably didn’t need to know. If you’re not a fan of useless information, you should just go ahead and clickity-click on that little red “X” up there in the corner. Go ahead. I won’t cry. Much.

1) I have cartoon feet. The patron saint of Hanna-Barbara bestowed upon me the feet of Fred Flinstone. The are wide, squarish appendages with round, stubby toes. (You totally want to make out with me right now, right?) Plus, I can stop a car. Probably.

2) I like to touch things. Now before you call the cops, it might not be what you think. I am a very tactile person and certain textures just make my brain happy. Let’s just say that I’m far better being at the Children’s Museum, instead of the Art Museum. Also? Certain fabrics can give me the hhhhuuuuzzzzzz. You know that spine-shaking, creep-fest that crawls up and down your skin? That’s the hhhuuuuzzzzz. Trees, flowers, kitties, marble, linen, and the softest leather? Love. Them. Hard.

3) Food. I love it, but on the other hand I may be the most non-picky person about food EVER. Animal, vegetable, mineral, blue, green, chunky, pasty? Whatev. Gimme. Just throw some groceries down my throat and let’s move on.

4) Due to the nature of my job, I have acccess to some of the most exotic and eclectic alcoholic beverages in the U.S. I have a full stocked bar at home that would make the local tavern jealous. Lagers, and porters, and bocks and beers. Imported, domestic, micro-brew and craft vineyard. But. But. I drink the same bourbon every single time. I don’t know if this a habit or laziness or loyalty. I choose not to think about it too much.

5) If my bra doesn’t match my panties, I’m uncomfortable all day. Also, I cannot bear cheap underthings. They make me squeamish.

6) If there is less than 3/4 of a bottle of laundry detergent on the house, my teeth hurt. From the clenching. With worry. I might run out. I feel much better knowing that if there is a zombie invasion or a plague of pestilence that would keep me from leaving my house, I will have aleast 1.75 bottles of detergent at my disposal.

7) I would rather have someone beat me with a large pissed off squirrel than do dishes. So it’s a good thing that I have teenagers in the house to do my bidding. And load the dishwasher. When I was a kid, my parents had a dishwasher but we weren’t allowed to use. My dad made is known to one and all that that “contraption” wasted water that he PAID FOR. So I did dishes every night. It was good training for me because I know have the stamina to tolerate the whining from the teenagers when they have to put dishes in and push the button. O, the agony.

So, there are seven things about me that you really didn’t want to know. You may now consider yourself my very good friend. The kind that bakes me cakes and tells me I’m pretty as they brush my hair.

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